Needs a little work, but excellent none the less.
You actually made a little bit of the same mistake I did, too much volume on the other sounds actually messes with the percussion a little bit.
However, something to consider is to add a shift in the song, a change, because music can tell stories.
Music has the power to build images in the mind, and if you play it right, you can do wonders. Consider the two songs I recently made. If you can make music that tells a story like my two songs do, then you can become the Mozart of Electronic Music.